when sowing seeds just snip off one corner of the pack for ease of sprinkling.so you don't empty out the whole packet of seeds like butter-fingers me.
nzchewie,
Oct 15, 5:58pm
after been told how to re connect flat car battery before hubby goes away on a business trip - do not forget which is which, do not put positive to negative or vice versa, the resulting pops, explosions, burnt wires,and ruined electrics is not a good welcome back present!
jennyp2,
Oct 15, 6:17pm
Page three! This ill never do!
nzchewie,
Oct 16, 4:41am
When deciding to burn a 5yr old pile of dead tree branches and other dry vegetation on a farm paddock, make sue your water pressure is sufficient enough to contain the 40ft flames that start roaring from the blaze, so when your helper runs to the nearby water trough to fill buckets of water the pressure to the hose directed at the flame drops to a piddle and is of no use at all!
Also ensure any hat wearing helpers are aware their heads are getting a bit too close to the flames resulting in said hat catching on fire.
nzchewie,
Oct 16, 4:53am
DP had a go at cutting out rust from an old car we had (he bought it for me as a runabout town cheapy), it failed WOF for rust.He had welded before so got his welder out cut out rusty roof section and started welding a piece of metal to the hole.
I was upstairs in our baby's nursery directly over the garage, could smell smoke and poked head out window to look down and see DP standing outside looking silently at a plume of smoke rising from the garage . he didnt realise that the heat from the welder would catch upholstery inside car roof on fire - we were lucky whole house didnt burn down as windows of car were shut and it ran out of oxygen!
majoba,
Oct 16, 4:55am
And when they say on the packet 'Seed is fine so sprinkle carefully' they really are telling the truth. Have just planted a whole packet of coleus seeds in an a 4cm x 4cm corner of the seed tray.
nzchewie,
Oct 16, 4:57am
When deciding to put tiles inside front door entrance but need to remove front ranchslider doors to put down base for tiles to go on, make sure you leave enough room to replace the same ranchslider, dont glue and screw the cement board flush with the door entrance - this means you are unable to put ranchslider back in to place before dark so have to tarp up front door and try to cut excess board away in the morning.
dgluved,
Oct 16, 5:50am
Think twice about hiring the painters who are painting the neighbours house after watching him climb the scaffolding, start up an orbital sander - the force of which then throws him over off the end.
bethel1,
Oct 16, 9:38am
Never watch the tree guys whilst they are trimming (read cutting) large pieces off the two biggest trees in the garden.I went out 3 times to watch, the first time I arrived one of the young guys let the chain saw fall out of his hand whilst 3 metres up, the second time the other guy missed his footing 5 metres up and did an amazing Tarzan swing round a couple of branches before coming to roost safely, the final time the top fell out the wrong way and zeroed in on the one plant that had survived.I retired inside after that.
fly04buy,
Oct 16, 9:59am
Remember to cover the chimney in your coboven, otherwise it becomes a home for birds.
bit,
Oct 17, 12:48am
I never made a mistake 'coz I never made anything. LOL whatever. When sailing with your dad and coming near the wharf don't believe you won't crash INTO the wharf.
bit,
Oct 17, 12:54am
When trying to start the mower outside the dining room of the old peoples home at dinner time make sure you know the homes adorable white kitten hasn't gone under the mower deck. Thank God it didn't start. As the blade turned it just pushed the cat out instead of making the grass red.
punkinthefirst,
Oct 17, 6:36pm
#1138 reminded me that if you attempt to "rob" a wild bee hive of its honey, you should not then run for homeand expect your wife to let you in the door when she has a two year old and a baby to protect. (As my father did, 63 years or so ago). Instead, you should run to the nearest trough, where your wife will send you anyway, and immerse yourself in the water with only your nose sticking out until the bees get sick of hanging around.
pnp,
Oct 17, 9:43pm
Slightly OT - Clearly remember the day i got my 1st boat. Prev owner took me out for a test drive. He let me try & put it on the trailer so I could get the hang of it. All was going perfectly well. I walked down the center of the trailer & hooked the winch strap on - trying to keep feet dry - then walked backwards up the trailer with the winch strap between my legs. As I tried stepping backwards over the winch post, my jeans hooked on the winch handle, foot slipped & down I went either side of the drawbar slamming my nuts into the winch post! The owner pissed himself laughing & just said "welcome to boating mate!" I was absolutely black & blue with bruising for over a week!
fingas,
Oct 18, 1:43am
When pruning branches off trees make sure you have some alternative form of communication sorted before the noise of the chainsaw accompanied with earmuffs rids you of your ability to hear. The wife's muffled calling of your name from the end of a rope attached to the branch is not an appropriate warning sign when a branch is about to fall on your head. Calling my name causes me to look at your general direction - not at the trajectory of the branch!
fingas,
Oct 18, 1:58am
Oh yes, on the ole' communication thing, it is so important to learn how to listen. It is especially important to listen to your wife's response when you ask, 'have you turned the electric fence off!' This will save you receiving an electric shock causing you to trip over a planter which then causes you to stand on the wife's freshly sown corn. It will also save you feeling bad when you blame the newly desecrated vege garden on the dogs - ironically why the electric fence was constructed in the first place.
kevin.b,
Oct 18, 8:33pm
Bump again!
patsy3,
Oct 19, 1:27am
Don't try to remove the Datura tree with a machete and vigorous branch breaking. End result is a hallucinating ex with dilated pupils and 5 hours at A and E.
wendalls,
Oct 19, 1:44am
Keep yr nose clear of the hand trolley handle when you drop a heavy load like a 40 litre compost bag. Result equals punch in the schnoz or whateva bit is at handle height!
woody89,
Oct 19, 3:06am
When your husband burns the ends of nylon rope to stop them fraying, next time suggest he remove them from the back of the boat first, or even tow the boat out of the shed beforehand. Because if wife hadn't smelt smoke & gone in to investigate in time, the whole kit & caboodle would have burnt down, being as how it was all parked beside full, long range gas tanks. Turns out the ends reignited & flames had travelled up to the big knot smouldering very nicely!
342,
Oct 20, 1:51am
Do not decide to see ifthe over sized bath plugs that suction down over the plug hole will stick on your skin.When you have tried unsuccessfully to stick it to your arm and then your leg do not try to stick it on your forehead because yes it will suction down real tight.Do not panic if you achieve the above and try and pull it off as you will be left with a perfectly round bright red mark that no one will ignore when you are playing a round of golf. I suggest if you are silly enough to sport a very red round mark on your forehead you should at least try to disguise it with a bit of concealer or your husband will tell everyone what you have done and have quite a number of people laughing and miming what you have done with resounding " pop " noises to follow.Oh the shame of it. LOL
masturbidder,
Oct 21, 4:05am
Everything with wheels or boobs causes trouble.
sat3,
Oct 21, 2:51pm
When painting always use glove and put your mobile phone, in a cover, in your top pocket. When finishing up bend across the 10 litre pail with about 7 litres still in it to pick up the lid.1) hand into the paint to get the phone out, pick up cloth with the other hand and wipe as much paint off as you can 2) take off gloves and phone cover and keep cleaning with clean cloths. 3) suck out paint from connection points. that doesn't taste good, but the end result is that 2 years down the track my phone still works.
peanuts,
Oct 22, 4:08am
Give us more,masturbidder and nzchewie we love it.
skye7,
Oct 22, 5:33am
LOL love it
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