When exiting a shopping mall only to be cut off by two older ladies in a Toyota Starlet, do not yell out "JESUS, LEARN HOW TO DRIVE!". Particularly when the two ladies are nuns. This actually happened to me.
goodbooks,
Oct 9, 4:49am
Bumping this fabulous thread.
jmpcwiz,
Oct 11, 1:34am
Up it goes!
masturbidder,
Oct 11, 3:01am
bump. any more!
sallyjoy,
Oct 11, 8:07am
don't build your garden shed in the comfort of your garage, unless said garage has a big door.
nzchewie,
Oct 11, 7:00pm
When deciding to have a bonfire to clear away old scrub and debris from farm paddocks .
Do ring the fire brigade and tell them so.
Do ensure you have a hose attached to water trough pipe line to help control flames.
Do have shovels and other fire controlling devices to hand.
When said flames shoot to 30 meters high and threated to burn your neighbours tree line, do not under any circumstance think you will help put out flames by taking a bucket to closest water trough and filing bucket to chuck on fire.Water trough will start filling and lessen water pressure to hose which hubby is holding behind a large rock to aim at flames . Stream of water will lessen to a piddle and flames will shoot even higher as a small bucket of water doesn't cut it.
Also, when fire brigade do come to put out rouge fire, make sure it isn't in the middle of their Christmas function!
nzchewie,
Oct 11, 7:16pm
Do not leave the small retouch bottle of car paint in an easily accessible place for a toddler.They will think they are being grown up trying to 're-touch' daddies newly repainted Audi.
Do not try and remove re-touch paint from side doors of newly painted vehicle before dady gets home with cutting compound as this will remove re-touch paint yes, but will also leave a huge smudge on door panel!
nzchewie,
Oct 11, 7:43pm
When wanting to tile internal entrance way to front door which means you have to remove aluminium sliding front door so you can put fibrolite sheets down to give a firm base for tiling.Make sure you take into account the height of newly tiled floor, as when you come to re position door in hole it will not fit.
nzchewie,
Oct 11, 7:47pm
Make the decision to never buy a high end model vehicle when you have young children.
A child learning to write their name thinks its wonderful to use a nail lying on the ground to carve it into the bonnet of a car.
They think they are being good trying to 'scratch out' their name with the nail too.
Twink is not good touch up paint, neither is nail polish.
nzchewie,
Oct 11, 8:28pm
Car again - when parallel packing large vehicle and accidentally back vehicle into car behind do not throw car into drive and jerk car forward, this will only result in your car smashing into vehicle in front and causing 3 cars to be damaged instead of 2!
Thankfully both my vehicle and the vehicle in front had tow bars so only license plates were dented . whew!
nzchewie,
Oct 11, 8:36pm
Sorry - have all these stories now I have foudn this thread .
When painting a room, make sure that any writing utensils of any description are kept out of reach of little ones . Imagine coming back into a newly painted room to see my then 3yo happily drawing with a black vivid . on light coloured walls!
Needless to say writing things are kept under lock in key in this house!
goodbooks,
Oct 12, 9:01am
Oh dear!
dezzie,
Oct 12, 12:41pm
Aww, I'm glad you went and found this thread skin, its great reading, and now its back people can add more "adventures of the DIY kind" for us all to enjoy.
morrisjvan,
Oct 12, 7:56pm
When draining the old oil out of your car ,be aware that the oil stream's tragectory will decrease as the sump empties, and your once well aligned draining tray may not now be collecting the dirty oil !
morrisjvan,
Oct 12, 8:13pm
if you ever have the need to replace the fan in your atlas stove, don't bother spending 2 hours trying to work out why the new fan dosen't work.because after the power has been turned off you will just need to re-set the timer and it works fine. Time needed, about 17.3 seconds.
sooby,
Oct 12, 9:05pm
on a serious note - be careful with bungy cords, because if the tension releases in a hurry the hook can & will find your eye leaving you pretty much legally blind in that eye.downside besides the obvious loss of vision & pain is this can also mean you cannot work or drive again, please be careful with these things!
on a lighter note, when are stacking firewood and notice a lone bumblebee emerging from under the woodheap, then another. then another.chances are you have your very own bumblebee nest there that requires a bee keeper to come & collect it
patsy3,
Oct 12, 9:46pm
Don't assume that when parked on a steep driveway you can hold the weight of a trailer when unhitching it. Particularly don't do it in work clothes and high heels. You will fly forward on your face and elbows trying to hold the weight. Also, allow an hour for recovery, as sitting on the step sniveling and crying, does no good for your make-up. I had horrible visions of the trailor careering down onto the road and hitting a passing car and killing some-one. (It just swung to the side). Umm, I think you can use blocks under the wheels.
patsy3,
Oct 12, 10:03pm
When using a large compressor, it's a good Idea to bung something under the wheel to stop creep. The flames out of the corner of my eye were not from the plasma cutter, but the electrical socket on fire from the compressor creeping forward and slowly pulling the plug out of the socket creating an arc that burst into flames. Didn't notice for ages as had respirator and googles on.
morrisjvan,
Oct 12, 10:19pm
if you are painting your roof, take a cellphone with you,if the ladder falls over, then you can phone a friend to come and put it back up for you!
morrisjvan,
Oct 12, 10:32pm
If you find yourself needing to lower a pool table out of an upstairs window onto your van roof rack with a couple of planks held down with F clamps to give youa better landing area, do not be tempted to drop the pool table the last 10 inches. when the clamp handles poke up through the felt it means that you then have to spend hours fixing the pool table top before you can give it away as promised.
morrisjvan,
Oct 12, 10:46pm
when you're trial running your chev V8 motor just by squirting petrol down the manifold instead of using a carburettor,don't be surprised if a backfire ensues and sets your rather rudimentary fuel supply system on fire,Best do it outside, but not right up against the house.
morrisjvan,
Oct 12, 11:07pm
Sometimes when you are towing aderelict,brakeless car behind another ,the bonnet can fly up which may obscure your vision a bit and lack of brakes can make it difficult to let the towing driver know of your predicament.
morrisjvan,
Oct 12, 11:13pm
before attempting to dismantle your chainsaw to see what the hell has jammed it, first check the chain brake ,it may just be that.
morrisjvan,
Oct 12, 11:30pm
if you inadvertantly put a screw into a waterpipe,leave the screw in ,it will help hold back the water untill the plumber gets there.
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