So far this week I have done the "stepping off ladder into wallpaper paste bucket" (left foot with fluffy slipper) "stepping off ladder into paint bucket" (right foot with workboot on bosses new carpet) and witnessed the apprentise builders attempt at plumbing when finding the water mains with a drill.
punkinthefirst,
Jun 1, 4:52pm
#502 Would it have made any less of a good story if you had cut the head off your new lead and put a new one on!
punkinthefirst,
Jun 1, 4:53pm
After rescuing it, of course!LOL
jimminette,
Jun 1, 4:56pm
made my day reading this - must remember to return to thread when feeling low. Haven't had such a chuckle in a long time.
dukeofearl,
Jun 2, 10:48pm
dont let children up the ladder to help paint the roof
sooby,
Jun 3, 5:46pm
another one from people we know don't expect a car battery to stay upright in the station wagons boot while travelling, or expect that when it tips over the acid will spill out and eat everything it touches! Bonus points for doing this just weeks after buying an otherwise mint condition car!
bethel1,
Jun 4, 2:50am
bump. bump.
lp56,
Jun 4, 5:32am
If the car's oil needs changing don't drain the auto transmission fluid instead before topping up the oil.
lp56,
Jun 4, 5:40am
Just remember, no matter how skilled you are, that when you take your digital camera apart to fix it you will never get it back together again.
flossy21,
Jun 5, 12:10am
Performance enhancements Don't let your brother in law talk your hubby into a performance boost for your nice little car by cutting out the catalytic converter. First it makes a horrendous buzzing noise all the way home and every day you drive it to work, second it costs a lot of money to have a professional fix up said buzzing noise, and third said professionals enjoy making your hubby feel really stupid by telling them any idiot knows catalytic converters are poisonous.
flossy21,
Jun 5, 12:33am
Learning new tricks If you are going to learn a new trick, like re-glazing your bedroom window, it pays to learn your new trick early in the day otherwise you might end up spending a bit longer than you thought perfecting the art of glazing. Chances are you might decide the putty sucks, and re-putty it, then break the glass and go get some more, and then end up balancing on ladders with glass windows in the dark while cold and damp and swearing a lot.
flossy21,
Jun 5, 12:37am
Mmmmmm wallpaper Heh heh hostile trade-me account take-over: Never let bored wife start removing wallpaper in one room as this then miraculously spreads to all other rooms in house resulting in ugly old plasterboard walls that wife grumps at you about for a long time.
bradfam,
Jun 5, 1:01am
omg lol! gotta love this thread!
petal-s,
Jun 5, 2:09am
This is the best thread I have read so MB so I have been thinking I should add one.just so many to chose from .thinking
petal-s,
Jun 5, 2:11am
OK never put a bowl of soapy water in your microwave to clean in unless you know just how long to put the timer on.Or it will blow up!
petal-s,
Jun 5, 2:23am
when you are denailing a piece of timber never ever get your face on the wrong side of the hammer, so that when the nail gives you don't hit yourself in the head, and when you have done this once don't do it again.
lp56,
Jun 5, 3:17am
If you see some plaster peeling on the living room ceiling, don't test it to see how much there is. You will finish the evening with the whole room ankle-deep in plaster.
lp56,
Jun 5, 3:20am
Hot ashes from the fireplace should never be stored in the firewood shed, and particularly if it adjoins the hen-house.
sooby,
Jun 5, 6:59am
wow lp56! I have visions of flaming chickens flapping round maddly while the woodshed burns to the ground!
flossy21,
Jun 5, 7:34pm
aaargh! I see my other half has been posting never ever leave your other half with free access to your TM account as you never know what they will post! Oh and as for the wallpaper, that is stage one of my plan .stage two is about to be implemented.removing the gib completely while he is out!
heoj,
Jun 5, 9:42pm
go flossy! haha
duster1,
Jun 6, 7:01am
Never let ur other half take his father in-law out on a maiden voyage in his inflatable, fresh out of shop with no oars, drifting out to sea, frantically pulling pull start till the rubber handle falls of and blisters bleeding, and still the engine wont start! LOL LOL they paddling frantically by hand eventually helped to shore, other half races to boat shop b4 closing time and wants a refund as engine dont go! get the expert to shore only to find the petrol line with rubber pump to tote tank was round the wrong way! and no he's not irish LOL
quane1,
Jun 6, 10:38pm
Sometimes living to tell the tale is the best you can hope for. To safely crutch sheep you need to cram lots of them into the race. 4 is not lots! When they start escaping and you try to stop them with your knees you are very lucky to stagger out of the yards with only a bruised knee scraped knuckles and a fat lip. Deciding 3 1/2 crutched sheep is enough is a smart thing, deciding to then brush your horse in the paddock without paying proper attention is not so smart. You will accidentally scratch her sunburnt muzzle and she will walk away, and as you walk after her you will discover (if you ever had any doubt) that a clydesdale's hoof in your stomach hurts. Anyone with half a brain will realise its time to apply the trusty Rawleighs salve to the grazes cuts etc. Anyone with a whole brain would not use the carving knife to try and loosen the lid on the ointment.
lp56,
Jun 7, 4:07am
Flaming chooks: Several roasted, and some never seen again- maybe they flew to safety.
lp56,
Jun 7, 4:11am
If you see some tree gum on the side of a tree, don't try to melt and extract it by setting a fire at the base. Even it you think it is all put out. next morning a tell-tale plume of smoke will alert your parents that something isn't right, over the back of the farm.
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