Small boys, net curtains, and a methylated spirits burner from a kids science kit are a combustable combination.
punkinthefirst,
Jun 7, 6:48am
Does anyone else think that this thread should be published as a book! Some days I'm just crying with laughter. (sorry to all those who have suffered damage to their dignity and person(s), but.)! But it needs cartoons.
pinkybar,
Jun 7, 8:52am
i started reading this thread early yesterday morning didn't get dressed till 2pm lol got home from baby sitting the grands just after midnight and thought i'd just have a wee look at some more.it's nearly 2am i'm going to bed love the thread we are all normal and sometimes as thick as two short planks.lol
daryl14,
Jun 7, 9:53am
Brake clean will get you into trouble. If you use it to start your coal burner. Did you know it doesn't evaporate immediately! It sits in your fire box giving off a nasty explosive gas untill you strike the match. Your child will freak out as your eyebrows melt off your face and your wife will be angry for weeks.
wardz4,
Jun 8, 2:13am
During a power cut one evening we prided ourselves on having candles ready for action. The power cut lasted for a long time,and with no TV to distract us (unfortunately), conversation drifted towards candles and what it would have been likein the old days. I postulated that lots of candles would cause quite an unpleasant smell. My wife insisted there was no smell. Without stopping to think, I leaned over above one of the candles and had a good sniff. Needless to say, that powercut is now embedded in our family history. The flame shot up my nostrils and the only smell was the unmistakable stench of burning nasal hair !
suie1,
Jun 8, 2:53am
Some stoves have 2 fuses, make sure both are removed before inserting your screwdriver into the wiring.
jennyp2,
Jun 8, 3:24am
My gawd! This is the best ever! Ill never see a candle again without thinking nasal hair!
pc_nut,
Jun 8, 6:15am
hahahahaha that candle one made me crack up.
fhpottery,
Jun 8, 5:13pm
costly mouse Smacked a mouse with my fire place brush but missed and hit the window. 192$ later.cats have had a pay cut and no purrrformance bonus this month.
henderson_guy,
Jun 9, 4:07am
BUMP! .
camino,
Jun 9, 4:22am
never underestimate cows because if you do.after an afternoon spent cutting 4 young heifers from a herd of steers and finally getting all 4 of them into one rather small horse float, you will be too busy patting yourself on the back for a job well done while they have discovered the internal handle on the front access door and are busy escaping out the other side! LOL
hmck,
Jun 9, 3:08pm
ok - well. while we're on livestock my sister used to have sheep including rams kept in a seperate paddock - which she was told repeatedly not to go into on her own.So I get there one day in time to watch her hurdle (literally and she could get Olympic Gold for this!) the fence as a ram chased her.Unfortunately she left the gate open into the paddock she hurdled into. and I got to watch her do it all again!Is this the end!No - becuase she'd left that gate open also and had to do it a third time. I was helpless on the ground laughing by then.She learned to shut gates though.
lew3,
Jun 9, 8:54pm
Always remember to put the screw cap back on the fuel tank on a scrubcutter before slinging it over your shoulder. If you should forget, then do try and remember that your cellphone is in your back pocket before you tear your petrol-soaked clothes off and throw them in a bucket of water.It's also handy to check whether your neighbours are driving past your house before you strip all your clothes off in the carport!I didn't, however, take a friend's suggestion that my petrol-soaked cellphone might dry out if I put it on the hot water cylinder.
lew3,
Jun 9, 9:02pm
Always check what's in the tin before painting. Commercial handcream is not a good substitute for exterior white paint.
lew3,
Jun 9, 9:42pm
If you are on tank water and nothing comes out when you turn on the taps, check the level of the water tank before stripping down the water pump to look for the fault!Also when your water tank is empty even though it has been raining in biblical proportions for months, it is not because "well, you have done a bit more washing than usual this week."It pays to check your tank for cracks etc before ordering 10,000 litres of water only to watch it pour out of the tank through a hole the size of your fist!The new tank's looking nice though.
lew3,
Jun 10, 3:14pm
Bump. This is just too funny to lose.Haven't laughed so much for ages.
hutchk,
Jun 10, 3:23pm
The chased by a ram story. .brought back an old memory. When daring your younger brother to run across a paddock full of aggressive piggies, ensure you stand well clear of the fence he vaults in a blind panic, lest his pig poo encrusted gumboot should fly off and smack you right in the face.
bizsafe,
Jun 11, 9:35pm
funny as . This is the best FREE entertainment around. Like, as a kid, do NOT have your bike chain come off going down the hill from the Masterton Golf club, after kkknicking golf balls off the green, right in front of the players, just for a dare.
henderson_guy,
Jun 12, 1:39am
hmm one from the weekend. When driving along the road, do not attempt to overtake and then cut off a bus following another bus, as said buses do have radio contact, and will deliberately slow down to peeve you off while going over a unpassable bridge. (BTW I was driving the front bus)
tonijo,
Jun 12, 2:26am
LOLOLOL So glad this thread is still going.
rhos1,
Jun 12, 4:31am
When removing broad leafed weeds from a large lawn, remember that Roundup is very thorough. I still remember my neighbour hanging our her second floor window helpless with laughter at our new inner city desert. The whole lawn had to be excavated and re-sown.
rhos1,
Jun 12, 4:35am
Always measure the pigsty railings before tipping out a sackful of new piglets. Ours went straight out the bottom and all around the district. The party-line phone went for weeks.
rhos1,
Jun 13, 3:56am
Another fermentation story My folks, completely teetotal, used to make a "refreshment-only" gingerbeer, using a yeast bug which was passed around various friends and family, as it increased in volume. Each recycled beer bottle had a raisin or sultana put in the top before capping, just to add a little flavour. I can still hear the explosions coming from our old wash-house. There was at least an 11 foot stud, and the ceiling (and everywhere else)was awash. The smell stayed for months in the old tounge and groove walls, and under the old linoleum. Great memories.
pc_nut,
Jun 13, 1:18pm
from many moons ago my mother's father was brewing beer and a similar fate happened. the sun must have heated one of the bottles and next minute a sound of exploding GLASS bottles from the car port and beer everywhere. my memory is hazy but thats what i remember of that tale
pinkybar,
Jun 14, 2:21am
a wee bump
Since the public registrations are closed, you must have an invite from a current member to be able to register and post in this thread.
Have an account? Login here.