When wifey goes out, buys an electric Flymo, and attacks the lawn with amateur gusto, make sure she understands (and remembers), to keep the extension lead BEHIND her.
sooby,
Feb 28, 8:45pm
one from a colleague during Guy Fawkes, don't ignore the kids cries of 'fire!' especially after someone thru a supposedly burntout sparkler near a bin of dry leaves otherwise the fire brigade come & give a lecture making you feel 2 inches tall!
kiwibookhunter,
Feb 28, 11:17pm
leave the cv joint assembly in place when towing a scrapped car to the dump.the wheels coming off when being towed at 80km is not fun.
1rosco,
Feb 29, 2:06am
Heres one from a girl DIY Don't leave the chuck in the electic drill especially when it's still attacted to the cord! Hubby wasn't impressed
shrekle,
Feb 29, 1:22pm
If you hear wifey calling out to you(while you are helping friends put up there tents at xmas on the opposite side of the house to the BBQ) that the bbq is on fire, just call back and say, just turn it down it'll be ok, and then about 1 min later hear her say its getting worse and you should come and have a look, just say ok just turn it off and i'll come and have a look shortly, about 30 seconds later you should hear a desperate shriek the #@%$* BBQs on fire. About now is a good time to actually turn around and look and then crap yourself cause there is lots n lots of extremely black smoke bellowing from the other side of the house. Emptied an entire fire extingisher putting it out, not to mention the mess it made. Morale of the story is "at the very least clean your BBQ fat tray out". I don't think I have run so fast in my life
naphtha,
Feb 29, 9:14pm
#311 I take it, that you mean "The Chuck KEY" that was left in the chuck after tightening it onto the drill bit.
catzwhiskaz,
Mar 2, 1:57am
poor hubby he tries soooo hard took the waste of of the kitchen sink today to refit a new shelf in the cupboard.Then he decided he wanted a coffee and rinsed the cup - you quessed it the water ran straight into the cupboard
art4u2,
Mar 2, 3:57pm
Write a book! This is THE funniest thing I've read for ages.
dolma,
Mar 2, 5:57pm
bumpkeep it going
morrisjvan,
Mar 2, 8:18pm
If you are using an isolating transformer, make sure that the metal handle is not ''live'' when you go to pick it up. If it is ,you will feel a buzzing sensation,and have an in-abilityto let go of the faulty device!
muzzaandmich,
Mar 2, 8:27pm
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. You may be a accident going out to happen
bethel1,
Mar 2, 8:39pm
When standing back to admire the MOTH's new water catchment arrangement for taking the rainwater from the roof and putting around the garden bed dont be tempted to twiddle with the hosepipe fitting to fix that very small drip 'cause the whole fitting comes away in your hand and you stand there drenched with 40 litres of carefully collected rainwater.
maysept,
Mar 2, 8:44pm
If you want to attract frogs to your outside wine barrel pond, and your partner asks how the frogs are supposed to get into the water, don't try to shut him up by leaning a piece of timber up against the barrel and telling him it's a 'frog bridge'. He WILL find it hilarious and tell the whole town, until everyone's greeting to you is "Hi, how's that FROG BRIDGE going!"
mutley2,
Mar 3, 3:35am
Don't leave a teatowel on the ceramic hob turned on. It has the amazing ability to catch fire. Don't then decide to throw the burning towel out the window because as you frantically try to remove all the billowing smoke you will notice a curious glow outside the window. As you go to investigate the glow you will find flames leaping from the bbq parked underneath the window. Don't then pour water over the bbq because you will find the bbq cover melts in big black googey globs which permanently stick to the paving stones. Who knew bbq covers were flamable!
60zip,
Mar 4, 1:36am
When working on a mobile scaffold,two things to remember. 1 Lock the wheels. 2 Dont tie cover sheets to said scaffold as they tend to act just like a sail and said scaffold takes off down the road with you desperately trying to untie said cover sheets. Only did that once.
morrisjvan,
Mar 4, 3:55am
a little knowledge of what !
1rosco,
Mar 4, 4:12am
Yes Nap I k-new That! I did a classic a couple of weeks ago and made a Three ter Perch for my chooks (so pleased with myselfI was Until)I forgot tomeasure the door so I could get it INTO the hutch.Hubby came home to find me really spewing - he and I both giggled it through the door somehow - then he got his dinner!
carton,
Mar 5, 5:48am
Will have to save this thread.I am having a great laugh, have to go to bed. Will save and read more tomorrow.Thanks everyone.
sooby,
Mar 5, 6:38pm
not DIY, another one from co-worker when kite surfing at a local domain, always remember to connect safty line FIRST, otherwise the surprise big gust of wind before you've set up will drag you off your feet forcing you to let go of kite & it'll wrap itself around nearby powerlines. This will prevent power going out to half the town & also prevent getting a hard time by workmates for ages afterwards.
lovelurking,
Mar 6, 8:06pm
bumping for my Mum!
nitpnz,
Mar 7, 1:52am
Tnx 4 the bump :-) What a great thread! One from me! Well, wayback in the fifties, we were 20year-old newly weds working on a farm. The bosss let us paint the roof of the cottage we lived in. Until then, roofpaint was either red or green, lead and oil based but wartime austerity was giving way and orange was fashion. We were thrilled, it looked wonderful.
Just as we finished the job the rain poured down.
That was when I first learned that paint floats on the water in watertanks. :-/
sorbus,
Mar 7, 2:06pm
When growing giant pumpkins don't trim the excessive vines,in such a way that you chop off the bit feeding the item.
cinderellagowns,
Mar 7, 9:01pm
a little nudge to the top again .
camino,
Mar 7, 10:21pm
Hubbies When you build a kennel and decide the bomb shelter model will last the distance, make sure it will fit through the gate into the dogs compound! Then when you realise its going to 6ft fence, dont expect your small 8 stone wife to be on the other end!
babyluthi,
Mar 8, 8:50am
bump bump:)
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