When your father asks for a hand to hold up an open garage roller door while he unbolts the spring mechanism, do not assume that his knowledge of how things work extends to this situation. When the door becomes unbearingly heavy, be sure to give everyone a 5 second warning before dropping it, since the door will unwind rapidly to the ground causing the fixing bolts at the top to rip away from the concrete and the whole door will crash to the ground.
filmstar2,
Feb 8, 12:31am
hutchk Are you the same hutch that was on the "giving up smoking" thread!if so, what happened, as you were about to become a new dad, and looking at the scan was your inspiration.IFyou are the same hutchk, i am VERY dissapointed when I look at your profile.we all had/have some great expectations for you.
filmstar2,
Feb 8, 1:48am
Bump !
redden39,
Feb 8, 1:58am
Aw filmstar2. Go post in the smoking thread.You've just bummed out a good laugh.I love this thread.
redden39,
Feb 8, 2:10am
Lucky I never came to harm doing this but. I rented a flat that was situated just behind the landlords house.The landlord was a collegue and friend who happened to be responsible for Health and Safety at our work.He was often horrorfied to find me standing on an acrylic outdoor chair, watering my hanging baskets.I was usually doing it just before trotting off to work so would be wearing a pencil skirt and high heels.Not only is an acrylic chair unstable on shell/gravel mix, but they have slats so a nice place to put a stilletto heel into.
flashgordon_nz,
Feb 8, 3:28am
when heading to the A&E at the hospital with an eye injury. When asked what the matter is, and you reply "Ive got some shit in my eye". with a straight face, you get asked "Animal or Human!" it really makes the other patients wonder what on earth you have been up to.
flashgordon_nz,
Feb 8, 3:31am
when going to the expense of hiring a Digger that you drive yourself to do some "gardening" - just a little rubber track 3 ton one. Just make sure you have actually located the phone cables. dont guess where they are, or where they should be. otherwise if you damage them on the friday night, they probably wont get fixed till the monday afternoon. Im just waiting for the bill to turn up now.
flashgordon_nz,
Feb 8, 3:34am
when asked to go the otherside of a tilter door to hold the tin on while new holes are being drilled - make sure both parties are quite clear a: where the holes are going to be drilled, b: where the tin is going to be held. otherwise the result could be a computer programmer not being able to work for 3 months due to not being able to move his right hand while the puncture hole and tendon damage heals.
flashgordon_nz,
Feb 8, 3:36am
off topic after 8 years co-driving in a rally car, the one thing i really have learnt about local events is; when the driver says "hang on, i know this bit of road." ; or "Yeah, my home road!" - it kinda means that your screwed. count on 6 weeks off work with cracked ribs. and 2 months hard work "re-shelling"
redden39,
Feb 8, 3:55am
Hahaha flashgordon. the shit in the eye post had me laughing.One of my biography books about Peter Brock has a story about how he and his mechanic were driving to a race and saw a car broken down on the side of the road.The owner was overwhelmed to see Peter Brock get out of his car to assist.The bonnet went up and Brockie said to his mechanic: "shit in the carbie!" and the mechanic asked Brockie if he thought that would help.It may have been the other way around but still funny.
scha,
Feb 8, 4:22am
When repairing a large hole in a wooden garage floor, don't pour down a large amount of concrete unless you know where the cat is.
kuaka,
Feb 8, 5:12am
scha - omg - what happened to the cat! .
chocky8,
Feb 8, 5:13am
O.K so I'm a hippy DO NOT take your very last bit of 'green stuff' and show the cat to see what it will do. You end up with a cat that staggers off to a nice dark corner for the next 24 hours and one pissed off hippy
gingerlime,
Feb 8, 5:16am
Think we should start a thread, on unfortunate felines, and their disasterous human slaves!
katherine4,
Feb 8, 10:01pm
Dont Use A Dark Green Paint As Undercoat unless you intend to use a dark colour ontop.
skin1235,
Feb 8, 10:56pm
never assume that because the kids have been told 'a thousand times' that when returning things to the shed they should be put back where they belong, not just shoved inside the door far enough to close the door, and when you need to bolt into the shed at 11.30pm to get pliers to cut a wire to free a dog that has hung himself by the collar be prepared to step through the mower handles unknowingly, go face down into the pile of rakes shovels and other garden tools the put back, then find that because YOU haven' been in the shed for 4 days the pliers are now at base layer of about 5 layers of tools and other oil soaked bits somewhere on the bench, also a good time to remember you really did mean to replace to two burnt out light bulbs last week, as you fall through the mower again in your haste to get back to a struggling partner holding a 45kg dog up so he can breath
katherine4,
Feb 8, 10:58pm
Days After you Have plastered &used a water based sealer sanded reasealed replasted resealed and finally got everything as perfect as you possibly could. DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT put sugar soup & water in a bucket and scrub the walls. ****** you can imagine, but please dont laugh to hard I now have to re sand and possibly replaster and reseal
katherine4,
Feb 9, 1:11am
Sanded, Re Plastered and Now Sealing Tomorrow the first coat goes on
rhos1,
Feb 9, 3:36am
Any holiday DIY stories!
allnall,
Feb 9, 5:06am
That I will never ever use slug slam or blitzem again. Just recently I was mentioning to my husband about wanting to get rid of these products and try using sand instead, we have/had 2 dogs, 1 cat and some hens.Last Thursday a packet was knocked off the shelf (we have had trouble with rodents - we are out in the country) and my 7 month old spoodle puppy ripped open and ate the whole box and died . I miss him so much he was a very much loved puppy.Thankfully our other dog is so fussy when it comes to food and didn't eat any and is ok.Needless to say I have thrown way ALL poisons and will never use them again.I miss my little boy and shed a tear every now and then and with saddness think a lesson never to be learnt again.
makerealbany,
Feb 9, 6:00am
235 cindarellagowns No but she said the worst part was trying to tape the latch hook to my face and trying not to touch the eyeball and then driving me into town to the doc. We both needed a stiff drink later that night.
makerealbany,
Feb 9, 6:15am
Safety lock catches on cupboard doors Do not wait until you have spent hours on attaching safety locks to all the cupboard doors in the house before you check to make sure that your 18 month old toddler cannot open the said kidproof doors. My 19 year old grandson loved it when I told him that story. He has always been very good with his hands. ha ha
soc_butterfly,
Feb 9, 6:21am
Oh that's so sad allnall, I'm so sorry for your loss.
RIP beautiful puppy ???
babyluthi,
Feb 9, 2:54pm
Move it again;)
hmck,
Feb 9, 3:14pm
bumping again .
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