when launching the boat you and your flatmates have just chipped in to buy, make sure you put the bungs in before taking your new toy out for a play. If you havent,and they are sitting back at your flat, miles away, one of your mates have to stand in the middle of the launching ramp with a finger from each hand poked into the bung holes while you go the half hour drive to get them. This is not a good look in the middle of summer on a Saturday afternoon. It is amazing how quickly crowds gather.
pico42,
Jan 29, 8:27pm
Go and fix that piece of grill hanging down in the front of your partners ute that you have been meaning to do.
If you don't, when she drives it through a deepish puddle from the cyclone rain, the force of the water will push that grill into the drive belts on the front of the engine, making it disappear into the ether. No aircon, no power steering, no battery charge, no water pump.
..pip..,
Jan 29, 9:39pm
Oh no!
gingerlime,
Jan 30, 4:58pm
Bump I think this thread was sneaking out the back door because it was so embarrased.
sooby,
Jan 30, 6:42pm
after chopping a large gum tree up for firewood successfully without injury, don't lazily try to cut the very last 1 inch thick x 2 foot branch in half with the log splitter. Using the loppers will prevent 1: a great deal of pain when said branchflicks up at a great rate of speed to the face & 2: a trip to the emergency room
bit,
Jan 30, 9:37pm
Bump. Phew must've almost got lost forever.
bit,
Jan 30, 11:22pm
Sweet. It's saved to my bookmarks.
kuaka,
Jan 31, 2:14am
sooby ouch!
kuaka,
Jan 31, 2:17am
slightly OT but, still a lesson to be learned. When having guests for dinner, don't ask your 7 year old son to fill the sugar bowl without paying close attention to what he does.When he asks "where's the sugar mum!" and you reply "in the green container on the bench" make sure there is only one green container, not a large one with containing sugar and a small one containing salt!You can imagine what happened after the said guests had smothered their plum crumble and cream with "sugar"!
kuaka,
Jan 31, 2:21am
And the same son at around the same age, was told to give the "trifle to the dog".The trifle in question was the remains of a very large trifle which had been scraped into a very small bowl, so that I could make another very large trifle, and I had actually started to make the new one. It was almost finished, just needed the cream on top.When I looked round some 20 minutes later and found the scraps of trifle still in the little bowl I didn't notice that the very large new trifle was missing.Yes, he had given it to the dog, who scoffed the lot and didn't move for two days!
worldlee,
Jan 31, 5:52pm
Luv this thread. Have just read all comments and haven't had such a good laugh in ages. Thought I would add my own after reading #94.Many years ago I used to help a friend who owned a dairy. While serving one day I was asked for two milkshakes by two hunky guys.Although I had never used machine before thought it was easy.Made mix and then pushed cups under clip on beater;wondered why they wouldn't clip on properly so gave them an extra shove and the spinning beater went through the bottom of cardboard cup sending milkshake all around shop.The guys were in fits of laughter, and there was I yelling for friend to come and rescue me! I later learnt that smaller cups need the metal 'collar' put on before clipping onto machine. Up til then didn't give any thought to there being two sizes of cup. That was probably my most embarrassing moment but good to look back on for a spot of laughter.
jenniferb1,
Jan 31, 9:18pm
Don't let your kids use your vacuum cleaner outside on the pile of grass clippings you have just mown while you are busy on the back lawn.It will make your vacuum cleaner sound very odd and smell like something is on fire.
buzzy110,
Jan 31, 11:00pm
No need to bump. TM now keeps all threads for a year after the last post so no need to worry. To find again just do an anytime search.
yduj,
Feb 1, 2:44am
bump . . . . for more laughs at others expense
dgluved,
Feb 1, 5:03am
Bump and no matter what miracle the side of the paint tin claims ALWAYS ALWAYS use primer anyway, or spend another day sanding back that which you have just painted.
tizme,
Feb 1, 3:43pm
When building a boat it is safe to assume that the designer knows best. A few years back, a friend wanted a ply runabout but the plan he bought cheap from another guy was 2ft longer than he wanted - so he just took 2ft out of the mid-section but powered it with the same MKII Zephyr(!) motor on the same bearers. He and a group of friends took the boat to the lake and fired it up. He tootled around for a while but eventually was persuaded to "open her up" from a standing start at the beach. It roared off then the bow came up and went right over. "I think it needs another couple of feet out the back mate!"
debbie7,
Feb 2, 1:04pm
When explaining something to your husband. don't assume he's going to think it through. A few years ago when painting the outside of our 2-storey house I went up the ladder and did the trim using a 2L 1/2 empty paint can. Next day my husband's doing the walls and asks me how I held onto my paint tin so I told him I'd used a wire coat hanger, doubled over and made into a hook to hang the can from the ladder. Great idea he says. Ten mins later there's an almighty crash from outside - he'd tried the same trick with a full 10L bucket! So, 10L white paint all over the deck - what does he do! Gets out the waterblaster to spread it around a bit more, all over the rest of the deck, the garden, the windows. He has been advised not to consider a career as a decorator :)
nala2,
Feb 2, 10:29pm
Don,t try cutting the frozen ham with a skilsaw Only wanted half a ham so tried cutting it with a hacksaw but it froze the cut back up again as I cut so I had the bright idea of the skilsaw inside the house. I used an old noisy one I had in the shed so was only slightly aware of wife yelling, I thought she was cheering me on but she was trying to tell fatwas going up the walls across the ceiling and down the other side. What a mess
weegerm,
Feb 3, 1:03am
always listen to your wife when she says .wouldnt it be better doing it this way instead.do not tell her your the man and you know what you are doing.And when you find out that she was right after all.have the good sense to grovel and tell her she was right.
pcguitarist,
Feb 3, 1:26am
. Using a heat gun on a 1977 car paint job doesn't turn out too good while trying to remove paper and tape from a touch up job.
levi29,
Feb 3, 1:40am
Dont get your car stuck on a deserted beach on an incoming tide.
shrekle,
Feb 3, 2:51am
Dont wear a good shirt and then go into your garage and start tinkering. Within 5 minutes my hands were dirty with engine oil etc. Started drilling a hole for a bracket for something else and watta ya know my shoulder became itchy, so as I didn't want to get the good shirt dirty, I decided that the drill bit in that old type, slow wind down once you release the trigger drill looked clean enough so I used that. You quessed it I just had to touch that trigger while scratching. Bye bye shirt and OUCH I also had to wait for the drill to stop drillinga hole in my shoulder. Stupid is what stupid does
lrosebudl,
Feb 3, 3:06am
probably not a good idea to exterminate a wasp nest up on the roof with the waterblaster! hubby did this guessing it was the best way to go and unfortunately once the nest had been pelted with water; distributing the wasps in all directions; they honed in him - decramastic tiles and hubby trying to run from wasps was hilarious as kids and I watched from the safety of indoors! He was also trying to protect himself with the waterblaster effect. Got rid of the wasp nest though!
sooby,
Feb 3, 3:13am
RE:203 yeap, hurt some alright! heres one from people we know of: when you've dunked your waterdrenched paint roller into the paint tray thats laden with paint by mistake, no amount of paint added to tray is going to 'dilute' the water out resulting in wasting 2 litres of paint, that of course leaves you 2 litres of paint short at end of job!
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