And stop the neighbour from towel drying his iron roof in less than 10 deg in the middle of winter on the southerly side so he could put paint on a moist roof that would never dry.
kuaka,
Jan 7, 4:30am
And this from many many years ago, when setting off home after going to visit a patient in hospital miles away in the middle of an English winter, and you find the windscreen fogged up and dirty on the outside, DO NOT use the windscreen washers.The water froze immediately and the windscreen instantly became just one big ice block.Had to pull over to the side of the road and use fil's dirty pj's to scrape the ice off the windscreen.Lesson learned.
kuaka,
Jan 7, 4:33am
And when you are busy painting, and because you have a chronic case of duck's disease, so you are standing on a chair to reach the high bits, DO NOT step back to admire your handiwork.Mother taught me that lesson.She was painting the upstairs landing in readiness for my sister's wedding and the expected visit of all the rellies.She was still sporting the scars down her shins on the wedding photos.
peanuts,
Jan 7, 3:16pm
Happy Birthday to this thread for the 5th, Jan 2yrs old.
hmck,
Jan 8, 1:24pm
When you don't have your glasses on - DON'T weed!Yesterday morning I pulled out a "nightshade" weed from my vegie garden, snapped it in half and threw it on the ground to run over with the lawn mower.When I got home last night I discovered I'd pulled out my lovely chilli plant and its too late - its dead.
mim5,
Jan 8, 7:55pm
Cmon guys, I need my daily dose of laughter! I just love this thread!
aredwood,
Jan 8, 8:02pm
When un brazing a joint in a copper gas pipe, depressurize the pipe as well as turning off the gas, the resultant fireball gives you a shock - at least is didn't damage anything, lasted less than a second.(the gas was turned off - only residual pressure) It is also the best way to learn how not to do things back when I was still doing my apprenticeship.
kuaka,
Jan 8, 9:41pm
I'm thinking, I'm thinking . I'm sure there's more.Have to think a bit harder.
revengeme,
Jan 8, 10:00pm
here's one Don't let your 5year old unlock the front door ( with your only set of keys to hand) while you get the groceries ( ie. make sure you're with them) else they will go inside and lock you out, and then spend an hour "negotiating"
lovelurking,
Jan 8, 10:07pm
Okay, this one comes with the compliments of my neighbour.When pumping concrete for the next floor, dont skimp on props if you want the concrete to stay where you put it and not end up spilling all over the lovely shiny truck.
jayelcee,
Jan 8, 11:27pm
When pitting up glass shelf make sure shelf is in a very safe place while the brackets are installed.Todays effort brought forth two brackets on zee wall and one shelf in a million pieces.Bugga!
oopie,
Jan 9, 12:54am
Whatever you do DO NOT let bleach based mould and mildew 'outdoor cleaners' dry in the sun. the result is a concrete like substance requiring the liberal applications of wire brush.
kuaka,
Jan 9, 1:52am
Do not leave your make up bag where your 17month old can get his hands on it, because he has watched you apply mascara and lipstick and he thinks his five week old sister will look much better if she also has a generous dollop of both!Same son (well the only one actually) also thought his sister (then 3 weeks) needed her teeth cleaned, and I managed to rescue her from that before the toothbrush removed her tonsils!
kuaka,
Jan 9, 3:46am
bump because I need some more good laughs and things to avoid!
krames,
Jan 9, 3:54am
watched my neighbour paint him self into a corner when painting his roof,he only had to wait 30minuits for his wife to get home (i was bed ridden so couldnt help)
bradfam,
Jan 9, 2:21pm
Up you go - too good to lose!
gyrogearloose,
Jan 9, 2:49pm
When you need to change a tire for the first time in an unfamiliar car, and find that the wrench doesn't fit the nuts, in fact even a 4-way tire spanner with 4 different fittings doesn't fit the nuts, before you buy a bigger Fuller socket and bar and proceed to loosen each of the nuts (the tire is still on the ground at this point, you're just loosening them) - look again at the little plastic clip in the tool kit because that's the thing that pulls the chromed plastic nut covers off.
Otherwise, you have just munted 5 plastic nut covers by using a large Fuller socket to 'loosen' them permanently.
muriel10,
Jan 9, 3:31pm
Well was feeling a little unhappy this morning until I found this thread!.PMSL keep it going folks
kuaka,
Jan 10, 2:01am
c'mon guys! there must be lots more to tell and we haven't finished laughing yet.
sit1,
Jan 10, 3:16am
do not try to commuicate with a man up a ladder using an electric hedge trimmer.teatowels make quite effective tourniquets.
bcohen,
Jan 10, 1:18pm
Never hire the King to sweep the floor. Hire the floor sweeper.
crab2,
Jan 10, 1:51pm
If you have a cracked corner on the toilet don't let brother in law decide to fix it after a night out with the boys resulting in a cracked toilet with water from the bottom running all over the floor, sis was not impressed especially being pregers.
studio1,
Jan 10, 2:27pm
Don't let your partner convince you that mixing concrete in an electric mixer to pour a garage floor in the middle of January is a good idea and will save money.
lovelurking,
Jan 10, 3:06pm
ah. reminded me of another! dont believe those handy hints that suggest stirring your paint with a special attachment added to your electric drill and especially dont do it inside. Unless you want to see how far paint can go at high speed.
kuaka,
Jan 10, 3:24pm
lovelurking - that is so funny and reminded me of the time I was making a special jelly which needed whipping when it was half set.I put it in the food processor and switched on but the lid wasn't on properly.Result, pink sticky jelly from one end of the kitchen to the other and I was covered in it.Wouldn't have been so bad if it had been at home, but I was the cook at a rest home, and needed it for the patients, and had to finish my shift all pink and sticky!
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